why do i feel this way?
when i know it will not be

i am broken

spoiled, discarded

a storm of feeling, empty
draws upon me, filling up my guts

i am broken

though i can feel the sun
it's warmth upon me
i look up, into the sky and
i feel glad
i feel alive, i feel dead

i am fixed

i am broken

i am glad, i am sad
happy and despairing
mellow in my joy